#9: Border Wars - Humble Beginnings

Well, the time has come to launch the army painter challenge that I have named "Border Wars". The concept is, of course, not an original one, but an enjoyable one none-the-less. And I always get incredibly excited when starting a new army. My hardest decision to date with this challenge was which army to focus on. Three factions sparked my interest. The first being dwarfs, with their brutally durable characters, complete spiteful disregard for the magic phase, and of course a terrifying arsenal of war machines.

The second was High Elves. It's an army I have always wanted to work on but have never had the confidence in my painting to pull off such a detailed army! Their models are meticulously intricate, and all of them in robes. So...many...robes. But their style of gameplay has always caught my interest, being very akin to the armies of Ancient Rome, with their highly skilled regiments of troops backed up by archers and bolt throwers, while counter charging with the elite shock cavalry and chariots. Of course, the Romans never had access to mages and magical flaming birds, but I digress. 

The third option was Orcs and Goblins, or more specifically, Orcs. I ended up settling on these brutes, favouring their sheer violence and enthusiasm for choppin' things over the tenacity of the dwarfs or the finesse of the elves. Being always inspired to build my army around a theme, I ignored the temptation of Savage Orcs and Night Goblins, instead focusing on the "vanilla" orcs and goblins. An interesting (and probably bad) choice, I hear you say. But as a wise friend of mine says, Vanilla is a flavour too. 

When choosing my theme, I decided to build an unstoppable killing machine based around Grimgor Ironhide's 'Ard Boys, the foundations of which would be built on a horde of Black Ork Immortulz and a horde of Big 'Uns, using supporting Orc units and some minor elements of common goblins. 

I painted up a regular black Orc to represent a fledgling war boss on his ascent to glory, with the intention of changing his model at each stage to display not only his rise to power but his ever-more impressive array of wargear. 

I also decided to tackle yellow as my army colour, a palette I have an unhealthy fear of. For me, it is so hard to make yellow look good, but on orcs, and with some pretty serious weathering, it turned out really well. To break up the flat plates of armour, I also decided to embellish the armour with checkering on prominent parts of the model. The end result was a satisfying one!

Then it happened. As I inevitably always do in this early stage of army construction, I got distracted. I recently (and by recently I mean six hours ago) finished moving into my new house, and was sorting through my future hobby room when I stumbled onto a box full of High Elves. Being mostly models from Island of Blood, they weren't new or exciting models, but for some inexplicable reason, all of my focus and motivation shifted toward what used to be Ulthuan. So yeah, after much back and forth, I decided to instead do High Elves. This has unfortunately meant that my actual painting project currently has no character finished for it, but I have a Mage half painted on my desk as we speak, that I will show you the minute it is complete. 

Now before you heap judgement upon me, I would like to point out that I will not be following certain trends among High Elf players. By that, I mean that Frost Heart Phoenixes and the World Dragon Banner (which has a different name within my local gaming community that I shall not repeat here) will have no place in my army. Those two elements, I believe, are not necessarily needed to win, and I feel a lot of players lean too heavily upon them as staple parts of every list they write. So instead, I will be basing my army around a naval fleet from Nagarythe, sailing East from Ulthuan at the time of Glottkin's campaign South, and my fleet would be carrying out the sole task of slaying their nemesis, Gutrot Spume, scourge of the seas. In my next post, I will show you the then-finished Mage who will currently take up the mantle of General for my fledgling force as well as a vague idea of my direction in both army composition and storyline. 

So I apologise, dear reader, for my indecision and last minute change of heart. 

But I would be remiss if I focused only on my own efforts and not on the efforts of fellow gamers and hobbyists who have joined me in this journey! So if you will, allow me to showcase the beginnings of other armies, as well as some fantastic fluff written by the artists themselves!

Alistair: Empire

"Too long has humanity cowered in the shadows, too long has humanity been a slave to darkness. No longer shall we pray to ancient deities, or look to outsiders for sanctuary. From this day forward, humanity shall conquer the darkness with science and steel!" First of the Enlightened.

In a world besieged by Chaos and corruption, where dead roam the land freely, the Empire sits upon the brink of destruction. In these dark times, the learned and wealthy of the empire have raised a force, not lead by faith or nobility, but by science and steel, an army loyal only to the abundant coffers that founded it. The Men of Light. 

This captain of the empire, in his golden mask, plays a key role in Alistairs campaign to reclaim the empire and its surrounds from the grip of chaos and u death.

Matthew: Wood Elves

Melorial, princess of Tirsyth, is a highborn relative of her Ulthuani brethren.she is known amongst the empire as a blessing and a curse. She is the bane of both the vile Beastmen and the forest goblins that plague the autumn lands of Tirsyth, tainting it with filth. To the Asrai, she is a light in the darkness for her people. 

After losing her brothers in battle against the Northmen, followers of Slannesh, She Who Thirsts; Melorial has vowed to avenge her brothers and purge the taint of Chaos from the Old World. Her vow has led to many followers amongst the Asrai who would fight to see her vow fulfilled. 

Matt's Spellsinger is a favourite of mine, using a striking palette from the autumn tones on a truly magestic model. 

Glen: Beastmen

With Brettonia and the Empire having taken the brunt of Glottkin's assault from the north, a mighty shaman, Kygor, has risen in power and influence among the warheads roaming the shattered lands. Not content with looting and pillaging small towns and manors, his mind wanders to bigger feats of glory in the name of Chaos. The forest of Athel Loren is his prize. 

Gathering the leaders of several war herds to a sinister Herdstone, he relays his vision of a forest Kingdom in flames, and only ash and destruction where once there was order and beauty. Not content with petty raids and skirmishes, the warheads are united under Kygor and his retinue of Wargors, as they march on Athel Loren to establish a foothold within its borders.

Breathing new life into an old model, Glen's Bray Shaman is striking with its white robes, offset by a thick necklace of red beads. Being a Beastmen player myself, I am really excited to see his army grow, and if this is a sign of things to come, my anticipation is not misplaced!

Josh: Warriors of Chaos

Roaming the realms of Man, Festus seeks to spread pestilence and disease in the name of Nurgle. Though his followers are few, the ranks of his army grow daily, attracting ambitious warriors who are all too eager to don the green armour of Nurgle, and to pave their way to glorious victory. There are some in his ranks that do not share Festus' allegiance to Nurgle, but they know that in the company of such a hero, acts of valour and might will surely not go unnoticed...

This hideous model portrays Festus incredibly, as Josh carries his impressive colour scheme over from an already massive Chaos Warriors army to this Nurgle force led by Festus himself. Flashes of blue break up the dull, bone-coloured flesh, and tie the whole army together, an army I hope to showcase in the not-too-distant future!

Ryan: Night Goblins

The dwarfs have grown increasingly sparse, after fighting a war on two fronts against Skaven and Night Goblins, and Skarsnik is always one to capitalise on an opportunity for aggressive expansion. Having dispatched a force of night goblins through the tunnels beneath the dwarf holds, he hopes to claim another stronghold in the Worlds Edge mountains, in order to further his empire. This task has fallen, in no small part, to an overly ambitious and vindictive goblin shaman, who tricks and tactical luck have seen him fall into a position of favour with the mighty Skarsnik. The question remains; will his luck continue in the face of a tenacious dwarf throng?

I am a huge fan of both the models for night goblins, and their hysterically unreliable and destructive antics. Ryan has done a fantastic job of capturing that craziness with this Shaman, who enthusiastically waves his staff as he prepares to scoff down a whole pot of Mad Caps.

Liam: Night Goblins #2

Skarsnik is a cunning general, and while with one hand, he strikes out against the dwarfs, his other hand is busy plotting against the ever-growing power of the Under-Empire! Delving ever deeper into the tunnels of the mountains, his forces are met with stronger resistance with each step gained. But he is not without surprises of his own. When met by unbreakable resistance, he has found that the forceful release of a Squig herd in the confines of a tunnel produces satisfyingly bloody results. 

Liam's white hooded shaman, complete with his flame-trimmed robes, is a classic model from the old days of night goblin shenanigans! And with a heavy focus on Squigs, his army should be an interesting, if wildly painful, one to face. 

There are several other players who have joined the journey, but unfortunately, I am incredibly low on time and space this evening. I will endeavour to get a second post out either some time this week or as part of next week's post, showcasing these characters. I'd like to extend a huge thanks to those who have joined and are actively participating! I am really excited for the amount of interest that Border Wars has generated! 

Remember, March 21st is the next goal date, in which our armies will reach the 500 point mark. This includes our characters from this first installation and does not have to be a legal army. Just as long as it comes within a stone throw (or indeed, passes) that five hundred point mark. I'm always interested to hear what you are working on, so by all means, get in touch and show me what's on your painting desk!

Thanks so much, and thanks for reading, as always!

Gabriel

#8: Throwing down the rusty gauntlet...

When I first got into the hobby, one of the things that really sucked me in was White Dwarf, Games Workshop's monthly magazine. It displayed beautiful armies, showcased new releases, contained passages from Black Library books, history pieces on named characters, and a substantial battle report every issue. 

These days, White Dwarf is a different beast. Having shifted to weekly releases has opened up a much more flexible and diverse new release schedule, but in exchange for that freedom, it has lost some of its charm because it's low page count simply doesn't allow the golden articles of old. And it is one of these articles of days gone by that I would like to focus upon and hopefully breathe some new life into it! 

My very first purchase of White Dwarf was (from memory) issue #301, which focused on the introduction and release of Ogre Kingdoms, in all their overweight glory. It was an exciting time for the hobby and so I continued purchasing the magazine each month. Shortly after I did so, I was flipping through the pages of the latest issue when my eyes were met with an article I had not seen before. 

The Tale of Four Gamers.

The concept was that four gamers would be handed deadlines and goals for each month, requiring them to paint models and theme up their force. The article has been recycled twice since (only twice...) but the first was still my favourite. The participants built four very different armies. There was an Orc & Goblin army themed around Grimgor Ironhide's second in command, Borgut Facebeater. There was an Empire army based in Stirland during the Storm of Chaos, when the poverty-struck province's already pathetic military force was even more depleted than usual. There was a Tomb King player who built a diverse army of those Egyptian-esque skeletons. And lastly, there was a bloke who built a Nurgle Demon army (long before demons were the disgusting death machine they are today). I remember his army in particular because of his fantastic conversion work, including Plaguebearers riding bloated crabs and a terrifying Nurgle Demon Prince, again, long before there was any model support for one. If you ever have the chance to read this chain of articles from back in the day, by all means do so (I think it ended in #310)!

I was completely enthralled by the progress of these four armies, watching each participant buy and paint his army, make decisions regarding composition, and eventually throw down with the other players who were along for the ride with their armies. It was these articles, that seldom appeared in the long run, that would inspire me to start a new army and paint it in huge chunks. 

Now, you may have picked up on where I am going with this, my dear reader. With an avenue like a blog in which to facilitate such an article, and one of my year's goals being to paint up a new army, I've decided to embark upon a similar journey to those gamers of old. And I invite you to join me.

Now, it would be an injustice to cap such a great journey at four participants, and with technology and social media being what it is in this modern age, this journey is open to everyone and in fact encouraged. I plan to share my progress in building an army, but will also be displaying other armies at similar stages, and would love nothing more than to display your work on this page as well, good reader. This is the intended schedule for subject posts with painting goals. I steer away from using terms like "requirements" because above all, this process should be an enjoyable one!

February 21st (next weekend!) - Paint up one character for your army (doesn't even need to be your general) and come up with a rough theme or idea that your army will build around. 

March 21st - Paint 500pts worth (including the character from the first stage) of models for your army. This doesn't even need to be a legal army.

April 25th - Paint the remaining elements required to make a legal 1000pt army. It should be noted that not long after this, the Mt. Gravatt Games Workshop is hosting a 1000pt tournament, which means any of us in the area will have a fully painted force to take if we choose. 

May 23rd - Paint our forces up to or beyond 1500pts. At this point in our journey, I would love to host a Triumph and Treachery Battle Report if anyone wishes to participate!

June 27th - 2000pts painted as well as a named special character from your army book. This model doesn't have to be a part of your final army, but is more intended to shed some light on those fabulous models we don't see often enough. Who knows, you might even find a use for them in your list. 

July 25th - this date (which, if the rumour mill is to be believed, will coincide with 9th edition) will see our armies reach 2500 points of fully painted glory!

Now, it should be noted that there is no "painting skill criteria". It doesn't matter if you are a seasoned painter or about to do your first unit. And the beauty of this journey is that you can choose to focus on an army you already own that has simply never had the painting love it deserves. I would love to hear from you if you would like to join in! 

If you would like to, either message the Rune Axe on Facebook or myself directly, and let me know! The only requirement this month is a single character (which can be a model you've already painted if you simply don't have time) and a theme. This doesn't have to be complex; just a basic idea of where you want to take the army. I'd love to get people in on this, showing off not only the army I'll be working on, but the armies of the wider community! That means you!

I hope you love the idea, and as always, thanks for reading!

Gabriel

#7: Rocking the Dunce Hat

We play a beautiful game. Every army in Warhammer Fantasy is backed up by a truly fantastic model range. Sure there are some models or kits here and there that look a bit dated, the occasional model that is torture to assemble (old metal Scraplauncher, I'm referring to you, with your 27 metal components and no instructions), or units and characters that have no models and require some skilful converting for them to be playable on the field. But all in all, the game is backed up by a seriously impressive range of miniatures, of all shapes and sizes. 

However, editions of the game come and go, and with them, the power of different units wax and wane. Which saddens me, dear reader. 

Many cool units and awesome models that we have at our fingertips today are neglected and left on the display shelf (or still at the store in some cases), because they have little use within the game. This can be because of one of three reasons. 

1: There is a better option. 

Some units are good. They are not over powered, they are capable and they fill a specific role. Chaos Dragon Ogres spring to mind. Dragon Ogres are fast, have plenty of wounds, and dish out a high number of high strength attacks. Sounds like a great choice, right? And in any other army book, you would probably see them on the table a lot. But. They have the intense misfortune of being a good unit in the company of great ones. I am yet to find a player who would willingly take Dragon Ogres over Skull Crushers or even Chaos Knights. Many good units are overshadowed by their slightly better comrades. Gyro Bombers are also a good example from the Dwarf Book. A great model and cool rules, but because of the play style of the army, and cheaper flying options found in the more affordable Gyrocopter, it rarely sees action. This is a shame because I am a huge fan of both the Dragon Ogre and Gyrobomber models, but see them very rarely being played. 

2: They are just downright bad.

In any army book you pick up, there will be a unit (or two) in it that is simply not very good at what they do. Forsaken for Warriors, Scourgerunner Chariots for Dark Elves, Giants of any stripe, and the entire rest of the Beastman Rare section to name a few. These units rarely, if ever, see the light of day because they are simply among the worst options available to us. They have their uses, but with many of them, to get a return on your investment, you almost have to build your army to accomodate them. The concept is cool, nothing is more bad ass than a Giant striding straight at your enemies, but when it comes to picking our list, there are plenty of better uses for 200+ points, no matter what army you are taking. And so, another huge slab of models become display pieces instead of a regular participant in your army. 

3: Cannons.

Cannons are a dominant force in the game at present. Almost half the armies have access to them, and almost all the players of said armies use them religiously. The rules for cannons in 8th edition spelt demise for characters riding monsters. In previous editions, these dragon riders and masters of hideous creatures would pose a devastating threat to their opponent, offering complete and utter carnage to any who opposed them, and rightly so. You would expect a Chaos Lord of Khorne riding a Manticore into battle to be a walking bloodbath. Or for that budget Orc war boss riding a Wyvern (and easily weighing in at under 350 points) to cause serious headaches to the flank of an empire army. But those days were far behind us. When you deploy the above Manticore Lord now, you can read your opponents mind and it generally goes something like this...

"Naw, how adorable! I wonder if I will have to shoot both of my cannons at it on turn one, or will one do?"

Now, I must make a quick note on two things at this point. Firstly, I hold no grudges against people that use cannons. They are great weapons of war, add a lot to the playstyle of some armies, and at the end of the day, we all like winning. I cannot fault someone for the inclusion of such a potent war machine. The second, and most joyful, point I would like to make is that there has been a definite shift in how characters on monsters operate. End Times has introduced an abundance of these types of characters who have had the pleasure of a single stat line. No longer can their monster be shot out from under them. Or a dragon be left riderless. Now they rock around the table causing carnage just like the days of old, while soaking up cannonballs with their numerous wounds and ward saves. This will hopefully see a game-wide overhaul of monster mounts and a re-emergance in popularity of those dragon riding glory hogs.

So at the end of the day, while our list of competitive and optimised units grows smaller and smaller in an effort to fine tune a relentless killing machine, spare a thought for those gorgeous models that crave your attention. I challenge you to try one different unit in your next game that you have never used before, and a strategy or tactic that is different from how you usually play. Variety is the spice of life, dear reader, and who knows, you might surprise yourself with an undiscovered gem within the pages of your army book. If nothing else, you will field a cool unit that people don't usually see and aren't familiar with fighting. 

Now, I must apologise to you, my dear reader, as this week, my post has been a little rushed. I am about to move into my new house, and have had a hundred and one things to do, boxes to pack and a houseful of furniture to relocate, which has left me with little time for hobby or writing this week! Fear not though. A late addition to my Slannesh Warriors army seemed fitting to show you, given the article content. And I know, each model has different equipment, but I went with the Rule of Cool during assembly and am happy with the result! 

As I said earlier, I love these models, and have another nine undercoated and ready to paint (don't ask how or more importantly, why I have so many) which is great, because I plan on using them to fill out a large chunk of points in my 5000 point goal. The Magnificent Host is growing slowly but steadily.

As always, thank you for reading and I look forward to next week, when I should be a little more settled in to my new home!

Gabriel

#6: Tiny Hammer Game 4 and tournament wrap up

When Game 4 came around, both my Ogre Kingdoms opponent and I knew we were out of podium contention, so this game was played with a much lighter mood. There was a 150VP bounty on each generals head, meaning that Slugtongue weighed in at a whopping 440VP should he meet a violent or otherwise unsavoury demise, and giving me considerable incentive to keep him alive. 

We began deploying in normal battle lines, when we noticed everyone else was not following suit. It turned out that for the final game, deployment was diagonal and our forces were a mere 12" apart, virtually guaranteeing first turn charges and ensuring a bloody, fast game. Now, my dear reader, it is said that there is a great deal to be learnt from history. After getting bulldozed in Game2 but a very similar list (minor tweaks and units but very similar), I was understandably hesitant to get into a boxing match with Ironguts. So, in a "divide & conquer" strategy, I concentrated my force on the right, leaving only a unit of hounds and one of my trolls to protect my left flank from the imposing Mournfang. 

The majority of the Ogres reacted accordingly, deploying the bulk of his force on the right. I rolled up Spirit Leech and Doom & Darkness, both of which are very useful against ogres and also synergise brilliantly with each other. With my hounds left with restricted options for Vanguard, I moved straight on to Slugtongue's curse, which finally fired. One of his three Mournfang dropped dead and his friends panicked. Being only seven inches from the diagonal board edge, I held my breath as he rolled three dice to flee... And he ran four inches. Lucky! 

Then came the roll for first turn. Whoever won this roll was getting charges and I would rather not be on the receiving end of a handful of short ranged bull charges. My opponent, having a bonus to first turn, gained the upper hand, much to my dismay. 

The ogres wasted no time in declaring charges, with both of his combat regiments aiming at my Gors and the meaty chunk of VPs with Sluggo's name on it. Surprisingly, his Ironguts failed a six inch charge, which was a relief, leaving the Bulls unsupported. The mournfang, in a stroke of luck, rallied and turned to face the battlefield once more, while the Leadbelchers on his other flank continued to display how devastating they can be by blasting five hounds off the table. 

The Firebelly turned his attention to my right hand trolls, killing two outright with a high-casting Fireball. The Gors then showed their power, by taking the brunt of the Ogre assault and still fighting back to win combat and run down the fleeing brutes. Huzzah!

Having only suffered minor casualties considering the predicament I had found myself in, I committed to the charges. The Gors charged the Ironguts, but the chariot fell short, which was disastrous because it would add some vital combat resolution against a serious threat. Doom and Darkness was stopped by a Dispel Scroll and Summoning failed. The game suddenly shifted momentum back to Ogres, when the Firebelly unleashed his breath weapon upon the unit and his hammer upon Slugtongue, smiting him dead. By the time the Ironguts waded in with their oversized machetes, the Gor unit had been shattered and in turn was run down and killed. 

With a huge power shift to my opponent, he began dishing out the hurt with textbook execution. A charge on the solitary troll was unnecessary when Flame Cage torched him before blows could be struck. The two remaining mournfang, having felt wildly left out, slammed into the pesky hounds, killing them instantly, while the unharmed Leadbelchers stripped two wounds off my chariot. 

Now, good reader, in this photo, you will notice the distinct lack of enemies on the board. Allow me to explain the most unlikely and unpredictable of things. At the start of my turn two, I had lost almost all my units, being left with literally five models on the board (a Razorgor, a badly damaged chariot and three trolls in the direct path of a Mournfang freight train), I decided that it was time to try and kick some teeth in on my plummet to defeat. A lone Razorgor charged the flank of his Ironguts, getting into base contact with his Firebelly in a hope to tag a few wounds off his general.  In a stroke of complete, unbelievable luck, my Razorgor did two wounds to his general and suffered no wounds in return. This combined with a flank charge was enough to break the Ironguts, and the Razorgor ran them down thanks to his high speed. To top the turn off, Nurgle's Rot killed two of the Leadbelchers. Despite passing his panic check, the last Leadbelcher was significantly more manageable than three. 

In his turn, his last Belcher's aim failed him as he tried to kill off the irritating chariot, and his Mournfang moved up 7 inches away from my last trolls, betting that I would fail my leadership four stupidity check. Boy, did I show him...

My chariot made an easy charge on his last Leadbelcher, passing my dangerous terrain (against my usually abysmal trend) and killing him with impact hits, claiming another nice chunk of points. But the shining moment, in a game full of shining moments on both sides, was my three trolls passing their stupidity and charging headlong into his unprepared Mournfang. I managed to drag one from his saddle, and in return, he just whiffed his attacks, doing one measly wound from memory. Regardless, it was not enough to save him, and his last Mournfang was run down, handing the Beastmen a bloody and hard-fought victory. Somehow. I don't know how... 

What an unbelievable game. So back and forth, Luck swinging from army to army and then back again (a few times), with some crazy rolls and crazier tactics. Knowing that the game would not have a huge impact on either of our non-existent chances to place, we spent this last game laughing almost non-stop, and I have no shame in saying that my opponent from game four was my choice for Best Sport. 13-7 Win.

In summary, I had a lot of fun at the event. 1000 points is a hilarious points size, and games are usually nice and quick. In hindsight, and after four rather brutal games, my list was probably not constructed all that well. I think I would have been better off without Slugtongue (despite my love of this janky wizard), saving 55 points and taking a regular Bray Shaman with a scroll, and using Lore of Beasts or Shadow. I don't use death often and was probably a little too unfamiliar with its antics. And despite Mark of Slannesh mitigating a lot of my "running away" problems, trolls were a mistake. They shone at times but they were a huge liability at times for the amount of points invested in them. If I could turn back time (there's a song to be written in there somewhere), I would have dropped the trolls completely, investing those points and the points saved by changing my general into either a regiment of Bestigors or even Chaos Ogres. But I ponder on the past. All in all, I played four great opponents with a hilariously unreliable army, and had a grand ol' time in the process! 

My campaign for Players Choice was also thwarted by a fellow gamer and his stunning Warriors of Chaos army (which, given the opportunity, I would love to showcase in the future). I couldn't be upset, however, as his prize was well deserved. I mean, I voted for him!

Best Sports went to a true gentleman who was running a fully mounted High Elf army, while first place was taken out by a well-constructed Brettonian force! 

I finished 7th out of 19 players, which I was really happy with. Looking forward to the next tournament in my calendar!

Thanks for reading! 

Gabriel

#5: Tiny Hammer Game 3 - Badlands Beatdown

After my significant crushing by ogres in game two, I was pushed down to table six (ignore the big ol' 8 in the middle of the table) to face Orcs and Goblins. The scenario involved racing three messengers across the board, dodging enemies and leaving the enemy board edge in one piece. You could get an extra 150 victory points if you escaped with more messengers than your opponent, but I'll spoil the ending. We only got to turn 3, which is not physically enough turns for the messengers, with their 8" movement, to make it across the board. Time did get away from us a bit this game, which was a shame, but the game still produced some hilarious and disastrous moments. 

My opponent deployed a rock lobber on the left hill, guarded by three trolls. A big unit of Savage Big 'Uns took up intimidating residence in the centre of the board, accompanied by a level 2 Shaman with (wait for it...) the Lucky Shrunken Head. A friend of mine runs this unit regularly and I fear it! A level one goblin shaman was tucked inside the unit as well. He was originally deployed on his own, but I explained to my opponent how Slugtongue's curse works, and he wisely changed his mind, sneaking in with the savages to avoid getting smoked by Mr Virus Bomb. Next was five boar boys and ten spider riders. I was surprised by how much he was spreading out, particularly with his trolls and their distinct lack of proximity to his general. That being said, I deployed my trolls next to my general every game, and it didn't seem to help...

My battle formation followed the trend of the tournament, being particularly aware of the threat posed by his artillery. He managed to sneak the Rock Lobber outside of Slugtongue's bubble of death, which meant I would have to run up and hit it with a blunt object in order to mitigate the significant damage I knew it could cause. The two sphinxes in the middle of the table were impassable, which meant there would be three lanes of movement and offence. This offered some valuable flank defence for both of us, but restricted my multiple units a little more than I would like. I finally got the master combination of Death Magic in Soulblight (a personal favourite of mine) and Purple Sun. Perfect! Soulblight would counter the naturally high strength of Orcs and the low initiative of the army only amplified the brutality of Purple Sun. My opponent rolled up Headbutt (which had me genuinely concerned for Slugtongue's health and wellbeing) and Gaze of Mork, backed up by Vindictive Glare on his Goblin. The Curse of the Famine Fiend did zero wounds, so my opponent began. 

In true, unreliable Orc & Goblin fashion, his trolls failed Stupidity and tripped over their own overgrown feet, while the spider riders failed animosity and pulled off a heroic first turn charge on my not-so-safe hounds, who were soundly beaten and subsequently run down. 

The Savage Orc shaman went straight on the offensive, casting both Gaze and Headbutt on Slugtongue, but I dispelled Headbutt and Gaze fell short by an inch!

The first disaster struck my opponent, when the goblins manning the Rock Lobber got into a shoving match until one of them was thrown headlong into the mechanisms by the Slaver, the whole machine malfunctioning and destroying itself. This was a stroke of unbelievable luck for my Beastmen, who made the most of it by advancing cautiously, being respectfully concerned about the horde of hulking, naked berserkers. My left trolls moved up to redirect, while my right trolls continued the trend of dozing off on the job. 

Luck continued to favour me, when my magic phase attracted eleven plague bearers to the battlefield, materialising directly in front of the Savage Orcs. My plan was to cast Purple Sun, but the new unit obstructing it's intended path persuaded me to settle with Soulblight on the terrifying regiment. 

The orcs, having had enough of manoeuvring and tactics, decided it was well and truly time to hit some things with blunt objects. The Plaguebearers crumbled under the sheer force of the charge, and the Savages left their flanks wide open in their enthusiasm for violence. His now-very-lonely trolls slammed into my hounds, crushing them with ease and barrelling down the hill toward the central brawl. And lastly, his Boar Boys ran my Razorgor off the field, showing enough composure to reform and face my trolls, who were still enthralled by the Sphinx in all its sculptured glory. 

My turn was largely uneventful, still hesitant to commit to combat against a full-strength unit of raging, green barbarians. Instead, my left Razorgor and chariot slammed into his trolls, crushing them with combat resolution. It was all for naught though, when he rolled double ones. You can't fight luck. I tried casting Purple Sun, but on five dice I think I rolled a total of eight...

Left with few options, the Savage Orcs and Boar Boys each charged a flank of the dopey trolls who had done nothing all game. The goblin shaman, having detached from the Orcs earlier in the game, cast Vindictive Glare on my other unit of trolls who shrugged it of with little more than an uncaring belch. The Goblin may have drawn too heavily upon his magical abilities however, suffering a wound while the Shrunken Head saved the Orc shaman from any negative effects from the arcane backlash. Then Lady Luck truly turned her back upon my opponent. While my Trolls managed to kill three boar boys, his savage orcs and boar boys, on the charge, in both flanks and with the added bonus of chopped, only snuck through four wounds. And I rolled snakes. His main regiment was held in place with the rest of my army staring at their backs. 

My Gors charged his flank, my other trolls in the rear, and the carnage began. Soulblight was cast irresistibly, Slugtongue dodging harm by blasting three nearby Gors, but that was a price I was willing to pay for the spell. Between my Gors and the four remaining trolls, I slaughtered the last two boar boys and ten savages while taking little damage in return thanks to Soulblight and the distinct lack of Choppas, and not being able to bring his attacks down upon the more fragile Gors. The Savages broke and were easily run down. The Razorgor and Chariot on the left finally dealt with his last troll, leaving only the Spider Riders alive, who had spent the whole game hunting down and slaying the rather useless and ill-fated Messengers. 

It was at this point that time was called for the round, and I claimed a convincing win that in all fairness was in no credit to me. Things just came up Beastmen right from the start, from his malfunctioning war machine to the materialising Plaguebearers and my trolls rolling snake eyes to pin him in place. Lady Luck was my MVP. 16-4.